The recently added video (Sexy Time) may need a little explanation…
Timmy was horny for a reason: Her Woffness is in heat since 2 weeks.
After using her signature hiygienic product series for a while….
…and going crazy on her own….
she finally was ready for her man.
I say trottl, u say woff…
Two dogs, two virgins, two animals to dumb to f***.
Sexual arousement reaching the climax of pleasure…
Do it, Timmy, do it!
Beside WOFF, the Word of Faith Fellowship Church (Spindale, NC, USA), the search for more adherents and other believers in the world wide woff brought us to “urban dictionary”, which had a nice explanation of the word “woff”! N.JOY…
WoffDan’s northern relatives also perform pretty well in the music business:
Collabo’s with da WoffTan Clan are already in process of planning.
Woff’s biggest fans apparently originate from Russia:
Although the initiative to rename the national beverage of Russia to “Woffka” failed due to massive resistance of conservative drinkers, WoffDan now makes her debut in the alcoholic market.
The prolific cooperation on “Dirty DANcing” led to the decision for another project with Mr. Swayze.
WoffDan in a mysterious romantic movie:
WoffDan expands her horizon and adds another genre to her pool of engagements: Horror!
The DAN double-feature shocks with realistic and brutal pictures, featuring a brilliant leading actress.
Today, the upcoming movie “Superdan Returns” was announced!
The successful 80’s action movie-series “Superdan” thrilled millions of viewers, now she returns to the big screen!
Musicologist found out, that WoffDan’s family has been musically talented ever since the Woff Clan exists.
Dan’s grand-grand uncle and his brothers formed the Woff n Roll band “The Beagles”, which released numerous singles decades ago.
“Can’t Buy Me Woff” has just been rediscovered and is now accessible for the public!
Finally, WoffDan gets the chance to prove her intelligence. Columbia Pictures took the risk and saddled themselves with one of the most complicated and hardest to control actors in animalistic movie scene:
Upcoming blockbuster “The Dan Vinci Code” features WoffDan aka Tom Danks!
It only took a few days online, and already Dan and her actions are admired all over the world:
Despite the broad educational background of all WoffBlog contributors we were not able yet to figure out, what exactly ArabyTV is about, but they like her Woffness.
(click to enlarge)
How long can any being fight the darkness of an empty stomage… Before the darkness breaks through!
Success has turned Dan’s head…
After only 10 days in the blogging world, WoffBlog has already reached Rank 202 in the German Newcomer Blog Charts (http://www.deutscheblogcharts.com/newcomer/archiv/newcomer_ausgabe_32_vom_1_2_2008.html) and Rank 58 in WordPress’s Fastest Growing Blogs (Status: 11th Feb.,2008).
The fame & glory don’t seem to get Dan very well: Her hunger for more is ever-growing.
“The Woff is not enough!”, as she would say - if she could.
Meanwhile, she dresses up as Mini-Me… pretending to be the sweet little pet people want to see in her.
…while a few moments later she turns into John Danbo, hungry for blood & bones.
While Wofftan is still recovering from her latest desease, a scandalous news from her past has reached the RTL Woffplusiv news:
Her highnes, formally know as Oliver Dan, is the the baby of Ranz Beckenbauers first time ever cheating Sybille. It all happenend in 1990, at the world champion ceremony….
Rumour or tuth?
Du to a current gastro-intestinal diesease, all projects are on hold.
Wishing her a quick recovery, the WoffBlog-team uses the break as an opprtunity to recall past achievements in Dan’s career:
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Today, an informant played a video into the Woffblog’s hands showing WoffDan during training for a new movie.
It won’t slip the attentive viewers attention, that Dan’s personal trainers had to attach a piece of Worscht to the training object to put the diva in motion.
The story has not been made public yet, but this short sequence is indicative for a strange mash-up of Danzilla and Black Hawk Dan.
But judge yourself…
2008 seems to become the Year of the Dog:
By now, WoffDan is working on 2 major movie-projects, promising worldwide success. Patrick Swayze agreed to co-star in the remake of the ‘87-classic “Dirty DANcing”.
While the dance-movie shows the sensitive side of Dan, she also demonstrates her dark side in a much more vicious role:
“American Dangster” tells an Underdog’s story soaring to become New York’s most powerful Dogfather.
Blessed with an insatiable hunger for fame, fortune & food, WoffDan decided to expand her activities and add music to her portfolio. Renaming herself into Method Dan, the first album in collaboration with hip-hop legends Ol’Dirty Hairy & Ghostface Nillah, will soon be released. The song “Hey, Dirty, Danny I got your fressi…” promises to become an earworm in clubs all over the world.
After being 36h on a self-discovery trip in the urban jungle of Innsbruck, robbing old ladies and plundering the well-stuffed Hörtnagl-offal, Dan was returned by the veterinary inspection office.
It seems like the time on her own resulted in a change of thinking in several ways:
In the early morning, WoffDan relieved herself on the freshly polished floor in her owner’s residential community - both liquid and solid signs of evidence could be found. IsWoffDan taking revenge for all the fun human beings have ever made of her?
This behavior comes along with recently stated suspicious facts of WoffDan imitating the infamous KKK; as the following video shows (film-maker wants to stay unrecognised):
Ku Klux Dan
Today, WoffBlog-Team received the message, that “Form Dusk ’til Dan” won’t be released in the near future.
Due to the leading actress’s incompatibility to action-scenes and violent behavior, the director has capitulated. Complete denial of any physical contact with canine co-stars threw over both script & story. In addition, WoffBlog members were told several stories about Dan quitting her sleeping place to stray around the set and eat every little piece of food, carrion & rubbish she could find.
This comportment made shootings the next day nearly impossible - sleepyness combined with excruciating methane emissions led to a strike of the complete crew.
Universal Pictures has decided to place Dan in a project a lot more adequate to her natural temper:
As a result of the overwhelming success in sports, athletic icon WoffDan received innumerable proposals by major movie studios from all over the world.
First project to be released will be a remake of a TaranZtino blockbuster.
On screens soon.
November 3rd, 2007:
WoFFsitting once again, Ferdi Haarschaum aka. tha Huawer, Profi-Yugo Maggo and some beer gathered to arrange the clash of the titans.
Slow vs Slower, Dumb vs Dumber, Her Hungryness of Appenzell vs the Italian Fingerbiter:
DackelWoFF vs Schildi aka Tartaruga
The fight started with some severe sniffling leading to never-seen-before lack of interest.
Even a half-twist on the part of the reptile contestant - initiated by the non-party force majeur - didn’t lead to mentionable body contact.
Anyway, at least the recent arisen rumors of Schildi’s abilities to perform a semi-sideflip could be approved.
…to be continued
Cast in order of appeaRANZ:
WoFFtan
Chilldi
X2Da’s floor
Huawa’s right Hand
Huawa’s left shoe (kept in white, for da Bo-Bo stylez)
Annotation:
No animals were harmed during the production of this movie.
Dackelwoff Inc. presents: The Woffblog
Featured Artists (so far…): Dan herself, Owner of Dan and Trainer of FC-Shlöth: Sir Dirty Hairy, First Officer in hirngulasching: The Gipsy King aka Marco the trainee, Kassenwarting und ethnische Säuberungen: Ferdi Haarschaum, aka. tha Huawer, last but not least, the italien stallion, his braceness, Gianné Monace aka FC-Shlöth…
N.JOY!
